THE BLUE MAGOO
INT. LAUNDRY ROOM - DAY
Winka [A talking Leech] still sits on the washing machine looking at the photo album:
PICTURE FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY THREE: Wise Old Dragon with a birthday hat on.
WINKA
Wise Old Dragons Birthday party!
PICTURE FIVE HUNDRED TWENTY FOUR: MANDY SHOOTING BRODY FULL OF HOLES!
WINKA
THE TRIAL, I FORGOT!
WINKA GETS THE HELL OUT OF THERE QUICK!
INT. COURT ROOM – DAY
The Prosecuting attorney, GERALDINE, is a big breasted, blond, supermodel type--but don't mess with this gall, she's tough as iron!
GERALDINE
SO, Judge Prudencia, we will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Mandy Plotted to kill her husband in cold blood. She waited for him to visit her apartment, and then viciously shot him 14 times. After that they had a brief conversation. And then Mandy finished the job, shooting her husband in the head, and then throwing herself out the window: Unable to bear the evil she had done. Mandy is the definition of Evil, Judge Prudencia. Thank you.
She sits down, a wicked attorney smile on her face. She smiles at Madame Chao. HE IS WEEPING, Softly. Trying to hold it in. Geraldine looks a little disturbed.
Judge Prudencia looks at the camera!
CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC
PRUDENCIA
Strong words from strong prosecuting attorney Geraldine!
But this trial is far from over!
Lets see what Madame CHAO has up his sleeve.....
(to Madame Chao)
You may call your first witness.
MADAME CHAO IS SWEATING IN TERROR
He stands up, brushes himself off, and says
MADAME CHAO
Madame Chao calls BRODY to the STAND!
GASPS! CONFUSION! CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC!
GERALDINE
OBJECTION! Your honor, Brody is dead.
PRUDENCIA
Over-ruled.
MADAME CHAO
He walks over the witness stand. It is empty. He peers over the edge, looks at the chair.
MADAME CHAO
Okay BRODY, Where ARE YOU.
He gives a fierce look to Mandy. She shrugs. Holds up her hands, waves them to make Brody grow out of them. Nothing.
MANDY
He comes when he wants,
MADAME CHAO
OKAY BRODY, COME OUT NOW! COME OUT FOR MADAME CHAO!
Nothing. He turns back to Mandy, Helpless.
GERALDINE
Your Honor--Please! This is--
MADAME CHAO
OH BRODY! There you ARE!
He is staring at the courtroom doors. There is nobody there.
MADAME CHAO
How are you Brody? Have a seat, BRODY.
He turns to the witness stand.
MADAME CHAO
So now, Brody. WE have had a lot of trouble about you! Poor GOOD Mandy is on trial.
Silence. Madame Chao nods his head, listening with interest.
MADAME CHAO
Is that SO, BRODY.
GERALDINE
What the hell--
MADAME CHAO
(Screaming)
YOU SHUT UP.
GERALDINE
There's Nobody THERE, Madame Chao!
MADAME CHAO
WHAT IF BRODY IS INVISIBLE!?
Geraldine scoffs in disgust. She cannot believe what she's seeing. She turns to the Judge for help.
GERALDINE
Your Honor....?
PRUDENCIA
Well, I know I don't see anybody. Madame Chao, can you PROVE that Brody is sitting there?
MADAME CHAO
(smiles. He's got them now.)
You Want Madame Chao to PROVE That Brody is here. Well, Maybe you should think about What Brody IS. IF BRODY EXIST!
GERALDINE
What!?
MADAME CHAO
You Don't see him. I Don't see him. THERE IS NO BRODY! How Can GOOD MANDY Kill who is not there!?
He sits down. Pleased with himself.
PRUDENCIA
(At the Camera)
Well! That got ME Thinking. Geraldine, would you care to cross examine?
Geraldine stands at a loss for words. Walks to the witness stand. Looks confused and lonely. Peers into the box, at the seat. stands back up. DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
INT. MARKO’S SPACE STATION
MARKO is watching Mandy’s trial on a giant screen. LOLA [another talking leech] sits next to him.
MARKO
Well! This is all wrapping up very well.
LOLA
Soon the team will unite to destroy you.
MARKO
More
LOLA
Well--Okay.
He Pours her a glass of wine in a shallow glass, picks up Lola, and drops her in. She swims about with glee, PERFORMING SWIMMING FEATS.
CUT TO – SPACE STATION BALLROOM
LOLA IS GIANT! She Lumbers across the room, bleeding badly.
Marko is waiting for her. He Grabs her, Kisses her.
THREE BLUE ANGELS BREAK IN DURING THE KISS!
CUE THEME MYSTERIOUS MUSIC!
ANGELS
MAGOO, WHAT's Gonna HAPPEN Now???
LOLA MORPHS INTO GERALDINE!!
She pulls back, looks at her new body. Smiles, shaking her head.
GERALDINE
OH, Magoo!
MARKO
So the pressing question now--
GERLADINE STARTS TO GNAW ON A COFFEE TABLE!
MARKO
No! Lola! NO STOP AND LISTEN, DAMMIT!
Geraldine looks up and smiles through bloody teeth.
MARKO
Goddamn you people. The Pressing Question-- Was Lola actually Geraldine all along? OR IS THIS JUST SOME TRICK?
Geraldine blinks. And FLIES INTO A RAGE!
GERALDINE
A TRICK! A TRICK! OH! WHO IS IT! WHO IS IT!
MARKO (Grim)
Why do I even Bother.
A little sad, he walks out of the room. Into the Library. BRODY IS IN THE LIBRARY
MARKO
What are You doing here?
BRODY
Business as usual?
MARKO
It's getting Old, Brody.
BRODY
Well, Maybe something will go different this time.
MARKO
At least you’re coming to your senses. Talking to the Dreaded Magoo. I'm proud of you Brody. Maybe that's the big surprise this time.
BRODY
Routine and routine again.
MARKO
Speaking of which, isn't it time that you exploded in a gratuitous fountain on blood?
Brody Sighs. BRODY IS RIPPED TO SHREDS. A Tear rolls down Marko's Cheek.
EXT. LONELY MOUNTAIN
Giant Mwilla-Mina and
MWILLA-MINA
An' Then mah BABIES said to ME, MWILLA, you gots to love the LAWD. You see
So how do I let go of the evil.
MWILLA-MINA
The LAWD. The LAWD!
LAWD?
MWILLA MINA
LAWD!
LAWD!
Wings begin to grow out of Mwilla-Minas Back.
CUE GOSPEL MUSIC
MWILLA MINA
(Talking to the music)
You See now
SHE GRABS A MICROPHONE AND DANCES TO A DEEP GOSPEL BEAT!
MWILLA-MINA
(Singing)
LAWD IS GOOD,
LAWD IS GOOD!
The Only Lawd I Know.
MAKES ME FLY,
He's the Lawd!
From mah Back mah wings did Grow!
THE BLUE ANGELS APPEAR, SINGING RICH GOSPEL BACKUP!
ANGELS
LAWD! LAWD! LAWD!
MWILLA DANCES, and then THE WHOLE GANG COMES, MANDY, BRODY, MADAME CHAO, GERALDINE, AND PRUDENIA! THEY ALL SWAY TO THE BEAT!!
MWILLA-MINA
(Singing)
LAWD IS GOOD!
LAAAWD IS GOOOOOD!
Makes the EVIL Go AWAY!
Gave me powers,
to STOP MAgoo!
TO SLEEP,
I Myself, do LAY.
THE WHOLE GANG SINGS BACKUP!
ALL
LAWD! LAWD! LAAAAAWD!
MWILLA DANCES WITH OSH As the music goes into it's final chorus.
THE LAWD APPEARS. A Big Glowing MAN with a White beard.
LAWD
(Singing)
I'm The LAWD!
I'm The LAWD!
The Greatest God around!
Likes to Dance,
Likes to Sing!
You HAD Best OBEY ME,
Or from my VENGENCE FROWN!!!!
ALL
LAWD! LAWD!
MWILLA MINA
Oh MERCY
MANDY
Praise Jesus!
MADAME CHAO
I Love you, LAWD
LAWD
I'm The LAWD
ALL
(The Final Chord)
LLLLLAAAAAAAAWWWWDDDDDDD, MMM-HHHmmmmm......
It all disappears, and Mwilla Mina sits back down next to
MWILLA-MINA
Who do you love?
The Lawd!
MWILLA-MINA
(Through tears of Joy)
Tha's Right. Now lets go HELP Mandy.
INT. JAIL - DAY
Mandy sits on her bench, alone. Humming "THE LAWD" Tune. She stops and looks around, panicked!
MANDY
BRODY.
Silence
MANDY
BRODY.
Silence. She starts to cry a little. Sits down on the bench.
MARKO, GERALDINE, AND PRUDENCIA BURST THROUGH THE WALL!! They Do a WONDEFULL BALLET for Mandy. And Go Away?
MANDY
WHAT?
She starts to weep silently.
MANDY
Nothing Makes sense. Brody help me! BRO-- Brody. Help. God....
THE LAWD BURSTS THROUGH THE WALL
LAWD
You Called?
MANDY
Lawd?
LAWD
(Singing)
LAWD! LAWD! LAWD!
MANDY
Um... No, please dont--
LAWD
(Singing)
I hurt EVIL,
I'm The LAWD--
MANDY
NOOOOO!
The Lawd stops and shakes his head at Mandy.
He sits down next to her on the bench.
LAWD
Mandy, Honey, What's wrong with you these days? You never used to be like this! You used to embrace your Wacky Magoo adventures? Remember your SNAZZY GYMNASTICS.
MANDY
Well, at first it made a lot of sense. But--Lawd--How did I even get involved in this shit? I Don't Remember!
LAWD
Oh! Mandy, the Lawd works in mysterious ways.....
MANDY
But.....Doesn't--I was thinking about things--
LAWD
MANDY! That's NEVER a good Idea.
MANDY
Well, I can't help it! And I mean--What the FUCK God? Grape Vineyards? Brody's head in the soup? LEECHES?
WISE OLD DRAGON
It's Just the Glory of the LAWD!
She notices that he has been in the room for the last minute or so.
MANDY
WISE OLD DRAGON! Where did you come from?
WISE OLD DRAGON
The Lawd.
MANDY
But--Wait This is what I mean. I'd never even HEARD of the LAWD until the song five minutes ago.
LAWD
What?
MANDY
Where did you come from LAWD?
LAWD
Um.....
MANDY
You Came From Mwilla-Mina! She just made you up, like, six minutes ago. AND NOW YOU RULE THE UNIVERSE!?
MWILLA-MINA
MMMMM-HHHHHMMMMM
THE LAWD AND WISE OLD DRAGON AND MWILLA-MINA DISSAPEAR. MANDY SCREAMS IN PAIN.
MANDY
BRODY! I'M FIGURING IT OUT! HELP ME!
Silence.
INT. COURT ROOM - DAY
CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC!!
VOICE
She Fights for Justice. In her courtroom there are no rules. Judge Prudencia!!
Mandy sits beside A LITTLE OLD CHINESE LADY WITH A CANE. Mandy keeps turning and staring at her, with her What-The-Hell expression.
PRUDENCIA
(Into Camera)
Welcome back to our show. Today we continue the trial of Mandy. The Defense is ready to call its first witness.
GERALDINE
You're Honor?
PRUDENCIA
Geraldine?
GERALDINE
Where is Madame Chao?
OLD CHINESE LADY
Right Here!
MANDY
But--
PRUDENCIA
That's enough out of YOU Mandy. Let The Madame do her work.
GERALDINE
.....That's not Madame Chao.
The Whole room looks at her aghast.
CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC!
PRUDENCIA
I've had enough of your little escapades, Geraldine. If you don’t uphold the integrity of the court, I'm going to have to find you in contempt.
Geraldine looks really angry. But sits back down.
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
Thank you, Prudencia. I call WINKA To the stand!
WINKA FLIES TO THE STAND.
GERALDINE
You're Honor--For the record--What IS Winka, exactly?
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
OBJECTION!
SHE HURLS A NINJA THROWING STAR AT GERALDINE. It hits her in the side. She gushes blood with a cry of intense pain.
CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC
Geraldine is crying, silently. She sits back down, and rips the bloody star from her side with a grimace. The cut is very deep.
GERALDINE
I Think....I need, a doctor--
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
SOOO. WINKA! What you think of MANDY?
GERALDINE
PLEASE!
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
YOU SHUT UP!
WINKA
I think she's a wonderful human being. We let her join the team a few months ago. BUT THEN SHE HAD SEX WITH THE BLUE MAGOO! And now only she can stop him.
PRUDENCIA
Blue Magoo?
WINKA
YES. He's blue this time. He comes back ever couple of days to threaten everything we stand for. HE MUST BE STOPPED!
GERALDINE (Through Tears)
But....What does that have to do with.... Brody?
A good question. Winka?
WINKA
There IS no BRODY.
OLD CHINESE MADAME CHAO
But what about the PICTURES Winka, the PICTURES.
WINKA
The Blue Magoo PLANTED them!
GERALDINE
(Desperate for aid)
But we found BLOOD all over the scene!
WINKA
BRODY PLANTED THE BLOOD.
GERALDINE
(Barely able to speak)
But--The....Body! We found.....Brody's--
WINKA
Your honor? Is Geraldine INSANE?
PRUDENCIA
Yes.
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
I'm Done.
PRUDENCIA
(Into the Camera)
Geraldine will get a crack at Lola, right after these commercial messages.!
Camera pulls away. Lights down. Prudencia stands, walks down the stairs and stands over the collapsed Geraldine.
PRUDENCIA
Do you want a glass of water?
GERALDINE
I'm......Dying.
PRUDENCIA
How did you ever get your license?
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
Hold on. I fix.
Madame Chao stands over Geraldine and sprinkles magic powder over her dead body. POWER! MAGIC! GERALDINE IS HEALED. She sits up, a little traumatized.
PRUDENCIA
(With Rage!)
MADAME CHAO! WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT WHILE WE WERE ROLLING?
MANDY
But that's NOT Madame CHAO. Madame CHAO is a MAN.
GERALDINE
Yes!
OLD LADY MADAME CHAO
SHUT UP MANDY
PRUDENCIA
YES, SHUT UP.
GERALDINE
(Desperate)
Yes--Mandy--You understa--
PRUDENCIA
We're
She Runs back up the steps to the bench. Sits down, fixes her hair.
PRUDENCIA
IN Five...Four...Three...Two...One......
CUE JUDGE PRUDENCIA THEME MUSIC!
PRUDENCIA
Welcome back to JUDGE PRUDENCIA. Geraldine is about to Cross examine this key Witness.
Geraldine stands, a little shaky, and walks to the stand.
GERALDINE
Ok.....WHY do you all need to stop the Blue Magoo?
WINKA
Because WISE OLD DRAGON.
GERALDINE
......What?
PRUDENCIA
WISE OLD DRAGON.
GERLADINE
Your Honor....?
PRUDENCIA
Makes Sense to ME.
Geraldine turns to Mandy with a helpless look. Mandy looks back with Sympathy. A tense Bond is forming between these two women.