The Graft

“I don’t deal with those who disagree”

--Ayn Rand

Opening:

(Lights up on an empty stage—a forest at dusk.  Bound and gagged center are Gregory, Shana, and Sable, all twenty something, all looking very annoyed.  Each is tied by their hands and feet by a scarf.  Shana and Gregory are bound together by their wrists.  Sable is bound separately, but it attached to the other two by several coils of rope.  The three sit in silence.  Suddenly Shana can no longer contain herself)

SHANA:  UMMPH!  Hhhehoree, ee uhh owe! 

GREG:  Uuuu eh aah?

SHANA: MMMMM!

(Gregory looks at her.  She makes a rising motion with her head.  He looks at Sable and makes the same motion.  Sable nods.  The three of them simultaneously begin struggling madly with their binding.  After much confusion, they manage to rise to their feet.)

SHANA:  Ummmofff!

            (She nods her head to the right.  Gregory nods, and both begin hopping in that direction.  Sable looks alarmed, nodding his head to the left.)

SABLE:  Uuuuh oooo ooing!?

SHANA: uuu uhn, aayoo!

            (Shana and Gregory continue to the right.  Sable desperately begins marching to the left.  After a brief struggle the trio fall on top of each other.

SHANA:  Uuuuu iiiooo! 

SABLE:  Ahhh annn aaa ii aayy oowe!

            (An epic struggle ensues.  After a bit,  Sable manages to struggle his way out of the rope and begins to inch away from the others.  Shana makes an immediate attempt to stand and rush off to the right, pulling Gregory with her.  Gregory shakes his head madly and indicates toward Sable, trying to move in his direction.  They fall over, and begin yelling at each other through their gags.  Sable meanwhile attempts to stand and finds that the binding on his feet makes it impossible to get anywhere.  Shana and Gregory have a brief stare-down and then sit back to back.  Silence.  After a moment, he hear voices offstage)

MERYLL: (Off)  …Really is perfect…

BOB:  (Off)  Well, it’s not Las Vegas…

MERYLL:  (Off)  Thank God!

            (The bound trio immediately perks up.  They stare about them, trying desperately to discern where the voices are coming from)

MERYLL:  (Off) This forest is so beautiful!

BOB:  (Off) Not as beautiful as you.

MERYLL:  (Off, giggling)  Stop that!

BOB:  (Off)  Come here!

MERYLL:  (Off)  No!

BOB:  (Off)  What do you mean no?

MERYLL:  (Off) Catch me, darling!

BOB:  (Off)  Meryll!

            (Meryll, a boisterous young woman, comes bounding onto stage and spins around to look for Bob.)

BOB:  (Off)  Where did you go?

MERYLL:  I’m right here, silly!

            (She turns around gleefully, looking for a place to hide.  Three pairs of desperate eyes greet her.  Meryll gasps and backs away)

MERYLL:  Oh my God.

BOB:  (Off)  Meryll?

MERYLL:  Bob, come quick!

            (Bob, Meryll’s husband, enters)

BOB:  What is it?

            (He surveys the hapless trio.)

BOB:  Oh my.

            (Meryll runs to his side)

MERYLL:  Do you think they’re hurt?

BOB:  Who are they?

MERYLL:  I don’t know, I just found them like this.  What do we do?

BOB:  I’m not sure.

MERYLL:  But -- who tied them up?

            (Pause)

BOB:  We should go.

MERYLL:  What?

BOB:  I don’t think we should get involved.  We should go right back to our cabin.

MERYLL:  Shouldn’t we untie them?

BOB:  I don’t think that’s a very good idea.

            (Groans and pleas ensue from the trio)

MERYLL:  Bob, we can’t just leave them here!

BOB:  We’ll call the police as soon as we get back, darling, come on, lets go.

MERYLL:  Bob, it’s cold.  What if a bear comes along!

BOB:  Meryll, they might be dangerous!

MERYLL:  How dangerous could they be if someone else tied them up?

BOB:  Why would somebody tie them up if they weren’t dangerous? Whatever’s going on here, I don’t want to get involved.  We’ll let the proper authorities handle this.

MERYLL:  You’re probably right.

            (Shameless pleading from Gregory, Shana, and Sable)

MERYLL:  Oh, God, well at the very least we can ungag them!

BOB:  No!

MERYLL:  Why not?

BOB:  Darling, this is our honeymoon.  It’s our time.  We can worry about other people on Monday.  I don’t want to get involved!

MERYLL:  But if we just ungag them—

BOB:  No!  I don’t want to hear what they have to say!  Listen:  right now we have enough clarity of mind to leave before whatever this is has anything to do with us.  If we ungag them we’d be giving them to opportunity to convince us otherwise.  In five minutes, we might totally change our minds and open a can of worms that could get us into a lot of trouble.  Let’s just leave now in happy ignorance, please!

MERYLL:  How can you be so heartless.

BOB:  I’m not heartless—

MERYLL:  Listen, we don’t have to believe anything they say.  Won’t you feel better if we just remove their gags?  I’m sure they’ll understand.  They’ll want us to go.

            (Pause)

BOB:  All right, we’ll ungag one of them and see how it goes, and then we’ll go straight back to our cabin and call the police.

MERYLL:  Fine.

            (She moves toward Shana and begins to untie her gag.  Gregory and Sable start shaking their heads furiously, moaning.)

MERYLL:  This is the right thing to do, Bob.  After this we can just leave and forget we ever found these people—

SHANA:  THE FATE OF THE WORLD RESTS IN YOUR HANDS!